What if this charisma is something that can be learned or developed  What if this kind of charima is something you could understand and something that you could actually develop and get good at?  Would this affectt your career and your relationships?

In 25 Ways to Win With People, John Maxwell identifies twenty five secrets and techniques that illustrate how to make other people feel like a million bucks.

Important principles include:

1. Let people know you need them
2. Compliment people in front of ther people
3. Pass the credit on to others
4. Give with no strings attached 
5. Writing notes of encouragement

You don’t have to do eveerything yourself.  You can ask for help.  Asking for help lets people know that they are needed.

Everyone likes to be complimented.  A sincere and meaningful compliment makes people feel appreciated.

If you are a part of a team acknowledge the contribution that everyone makes.  Don’t take all the credit for doing a job that was a joint effort.

Do something nice for someone today – for no reason.  

Writing notes of encouragement has to be my favorite principle.  When was the last time that you received mail?  I’m not talking about e-mail or phone mail – I’m talking about mail that was sent by the United States Postal Service and delivered to your address.  Last Thursday I returned home and found a package waiting for me.  It was from my dear friend Roxanne at CoachRoxanne.com.  It was a box of delicious brownies from Send Out Cards along with a at Thank You card.  I was so surprised and so touched by her kindness that I immediately picked up the phone and called her.  Can you do that for someone?  

Being

In Happy for No Reason, Marci Shimoff, coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul, says that they are seven steps to being happy from the inside out.

1. Take Ownership of Your Happiness – The Foundation
2. Don’t Believe Everything You Think – The Pillar of the Mind
3. Let Love Lead – The Pillar of the Heart
4. Make Your Cells Happy – The Pillar of the Body
5. Plug Yourself in to Spirit – The Pillar of the Soul
6. Live a Life Inspired by Purpose – The Roof
7. Cultivate Nourishing Relationships – The Garden

YOU are responsible for your own happiness.  If you happened to see the first episode of this season’s Apprentice, you can’t help but remember Gene, the Project Manager for the men’s team.  He told his team to own their task and take it from start to finish.  The men’s team won the first task!  The same is true for happiness – you have to own it.

Change the way you think.  The bad news is that we all have negative thoughts running through our heads.  The good news is that our thoughts are not always true.  Do not react to negative thoughts.  Find positive experiences and savor them – FEEL them.  

Your heart is your energy field.  When your heart is heavy it is full of pain, however, when your heart is full it is full of joy.  Find ways to be greatful so your heart will be filled with joy.

Did you know that there were happiness foods?  Happiness foods are fresh foods.  They contain little or no sugar and they generally do not come in a box or a can.  Happiness foods fuel our body. 

Appreciate the miracles in your life.  Whether you belong to a formal religion or you just believe in a higher power, people who are the happiest are connected to an energy source that is bigger than life.

What is your purpose in life?  Contrary to popular belief, your purpose in life is not your job or your career.  Your purpose in life is that which gives your life meaning .  Find your passion and you will find your purpose for life.

Do you cultivate your social relationships?  Good social relationships are a strong predictor of happiness.  If you are feeling down you can “catch” positive emotions from someone close to you.  Make healthy connections with people and boost your energy.

Learn how to be happy from the inside out.

Share your stories of happiness and achievement with me by leaving a reply below.

Have you ever asked THAT question?  Po Bronson, author of What Should I Do with the Rest of My Life?: True Stories of Finding Success, Passion, and New Meaning in the Second Half of Life,faced this dilemma himself.  Although he was a critically acclaimed bestselling author, he was curious about people who had reached deep inside themselves to find their true calling.

Bronson interviewed over nine hundred individuals who were looking for answers to this question.  His book present thirty five stories from his interviews.

Noah Goldfader had lived in six cities and had wored at sixteen jobs over an eight year period.  Bronson helped him dig deep and find his passion. What was it?  Helping people.  But not JUST helping people – he wanted tp help people play better golf.  All throughout his life Noah had a passion for playing golf but everyone dismissed his enthusiasm.  After meeting with Bronson, Noah became a merchandise manager at Sportsmart, reinvented his grip prototype, and discovered the secret of the golf swing – something that had eluded him his whole life.

There are more stories just like this:

• Claudi Sidi, a marine biologist, who awakened each day to the smell of the ocean, but discovered he was isolated and lonely.  He moved to a large city and became a dentist so he could be around people.
• Rick Olsen, a corporate lawyer, who gave up a lucrative career to became a long-haul trucker so he could spend more time with his son.
• Jennifer Scott who worked in politics in Washington, D.C. but left to pursue a career in the wine industry.
• Nancy and Ross Latham gave up their jobs in the telecom industry to buy a nursery. 

Bronson says that “We all have passions if we choose to see them.”  Have you found your passion?  Dare to be honest with yourself. 

Are you interested  in getting a better job, improving your office atmosphere, or increasing rapport with your family and friends?   How do you accomplish this?  By refining your people skills and learning how how to “de-puzzle” human behavior.  

If you’ve ever been to Seattle, Washington, you have probably visited or at least heard about Pike Place Fish Market.  The market is famous, not only for fish, but for it’s customer service as well!  John Christensen of ChartHouse immortalized the outstanding customer service in a film called Fish. The film spawned (pardon my humor) a book called Fish! A Remarkable Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results, followed by Fish! Tales: Real-Life Stories to Help You Transform Your Workplace and Your LifeFresh, Fish! Sticks: A Remarkable Way to Adapt to Changing Times and Keep Your Work Freshand Fish! For Life: A Remarkable Way to Achieve Your Dreams.  Clearly, Pike Place Fish Market is doing something right.

There are four principles (Fish Philosophy) that contribute to a great workplace and business success:

1. Play
2. Make Their Day
3. Be There
4. Choose Your Attitude

You can choose to do serious tasks with a bit of levity.  Play stimulates creativity and allows us to look at something in a new and imaginative way.

Engage one person at a time and create a memorable experience for them. Connect with a customer, co-worker or family member and make their day.

You can multitask for a lot of things but don’t multitask when it comes to people.  Choose to be present every day.

Choose the right attitude – you wear it all day.

Have a great day and go FISH!

The month of September is full of special occasions and first on my list is National Library Card Sign-up Month.  As a librarian, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you this!

This observance was launched in 1987  to meet the challenge of then Secretary of Education William J. Bennett who said, “Let’s have a national campaign . . . every child should obtain a library card – and use it.”  Since then, thousands of public and school libraries join each fall in a national effort to ensure that every child does just that. 

 Other month long observations during September include: 

•  AKC Responsible Dog Ownership Month
•  International People Skills Month
•  National Coupon Month
•  One-on-One Month
•  Shameless Promotion Month
•  Update Your Resume Month
•  Women’s Friendship Month

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.  ~Cicero

All of the negative news that you read and hear about in the media is disheartening.  The truth is the positive stories outweigh the negative stories but we just don’t hear about them that often.   Take heart – most people are caring individuals .  Show that you care and decide to be kind.

 Here are some suggestions for making a difference this week:

1. Motorist Consideration Monday
2. Touch a Heart Tuesday
3. Willing to Lend a Hand Wednesday
4. Thoughtful Thursday
5. Forgive Your Foe Friday
6. Speak Kind Words Saturday
7. Sacrifice Our Wants for Other’s Needs Sunday                           

It’s a day to do one small act of service for someone.  Be a blessing in someone’s life.

Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval’s The Power of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World With Kindness is a small yet powerful book that demonstrates why being nice may be the only four letter word that creates a positive impression.

If you can master the six power of nice principles, you will improve everything in your life.

Six Power of Nice Principles

1. Positive impressions are like seeds.  The smile or the thank you that you give to the UPS driver throws off positive energy.  Nice is contagious and seems to have a multiplier effect.
2. You never know.  Treat everyone you meet as if they are the most important person in the world.  You never know who these strangers might turn out to be.
3. People change.  Be nice to everybody – your boss, your peers, the receptionist, the janitor . . .
4. Nice must be automatic.  Become skilled at the art of being nice.  Do it all the time and make it a part of your daily life.
5. Negative impressions are like germs.  Rude gestures and remarks create a negative impression.  A bad impression can affect everything you do.
6. You will know.  Value niceness in yourself and others.  When you understand the power of the true power of nice, nice you treat people with respect and they repay you with respect.

Nice people really do finish first.

The Power of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World With Kindness

Participating salons and barbershops host a day of grooming events for men.  The day was founded and is sponsored by American Crew, the leading maker of men’s grooming products carried in salons and barbershops nationwide.

Now that your hair is groomed, let’s talk about what you wear and how you carry yourself.    Inside every man ia a man of style.

The right suit, tie, shirt or shoes projects mystery and power. In Men’s Style: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Dress, Russell Smith offers practical advice for how to dress in a world of conflicting fashion imperatives.  You will find the rules for looking the part at the office, a formal function, or the hippest party, and most importantly, you will learn when you can toss these rules aside.

What color should your first suit be?  Should socks match your belt, pants, or shoes?   I will answer these burning questions – don’t panic!

The first time suit buyer nervously gravitates to color like dove grey or beige – WRONG.  The appropriate color for the first suit is navy blue.  A navy blue suit can be worn all year long and suits (excuse the pun) any occasion. 

It may be difficult to get excited about socks, but they are an overlooked opportunity to add a splash of color to a monochromatic ensemble.  If you prefer to be safe, your socks should be a shade lighter than your pants.

Another great read on men’s style is Esquire the Handbook of Style: A Man’s Guide to Looking Good.  The guide offers all the information you need to make the right statement in any situation and decodes the mystery of what to buy, how and when to wear it, and how to maintain it.

You don’t have to dress for success, buy why wouldn’t you?   

Today is the perfect excuse to reduce stress and improve your lifestyle by relaxing.  Spend a few minutes learning or sharing the art of relaxation with family, friends, and co-workers.

I am sitting on my patio reading Relaxation by Alice Muir.   Topics in this Teach Yourself series include:

Benefits of relaxation

Causes of tension

Alternative and complementary therapies

Relaxing mind and body together

Relaxation can reduce stress and tension.  When you are calm you can deal more effectively with almost any situation.  Your ability to stay calm and summon your inner strength can positively affect any outcome.

Do you find yourself driving too fast, talking too fast, rushing to work to get there on time, rushing through lunch so you can run some errands,  and then rushing home to fix dinner?  We pack so many activities into our daily lives that we are operating at warp speed.  We have lost sight of what a normal pace of life or work actually is.

If your life is filled with stress, here are some ideas that may  help you. 

Did you know that smiling is a great way to reduce stress?  Smiling reduces stress hormones and lowers blood pressure.  Have you had a good laugh today?  It’s a great stress reliever.  Rent a funny movie and sit back and laugh.

Animals have a great calming effect on humans.  Petting a dog, cat, rabbit,  or even a hamster significantly reduces stress.  

Your goal for today is to relax.  Read a good ook, listen to music, work in you garden, walk the dog, take a nap, or watch a good movie.

Teach Yourself Relaxation (Book + Audio CD) (Teach Yourself: Relationships & Self-Help)

Vinyl Record Day

In an age of music downloads, where the product is delivered directly to the consumer without packaging, the fact that the same product was once delivered in huge cardboard sleeves and was made of black, shiny vinyl, seems strange to us.  Yet it was not even a generation ago that that music was pressed onto  12″ vinyl and sold in shops. 

We all need a reminder sometimes that life is good, regardless of national news and daily challenges.  Favorite songs can bring back favorite memories, and Vinyl Record Day encourages celebrating these musical memories with family and friends.  The day also seeks to recognize the tremendous cultural influence that vinyl records and album covers have had for more than 60 years and the need to preserve that audio history.       

     Take a trip with me down memory lane with The Greatest Album Covers of All Time (Music Sales America).  The book includes covers from the 1950′s through 2000 and features artists such as the Beetles, The Rolling Stones, and Pink Floyd.

Take a look and enjoy the musical history lesson.

 
The Greatest Album Covers of All Time

You might also enjoy Record Store Days: From Vinyl to Digital and Back Again, a collection of interviews, anecdotes, and photographs that traces the growth of the record industry.